Are You Embarrassed By Your viral Skills? Here’s What To Do

I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

Homer: Bad Man

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.

  • Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  • You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  • Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.
  • Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
  • Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!

A Fish Called Selma

Me fail English? That’s unpossible. He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Save me, Jeebus.

Cape Feare

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. I stand by my racial slur. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

  1. Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
  2. He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?!
  3. They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.
  4. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
  5. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
Selma’s Choice
Check Image

Check Image

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

No Responses

  1. Anonymous August 19, 2014 Reply
  2. Anonymous August 25, 2014 Reply
  3. Anonymous August 25, 2014 Reply
  4. Anonymous August 26, 2014 Reply
  5. Anonymous September 1, 2014 Reply
  6. Anonymous September 7, 2014 Reply
  7. Anonymous September 11, 2014 Reply
  8. Anonymous September 13, 2014 Reply
  9. Anonymous September 30, 2014 Reply
  10. Anonymous October 7, 2014 Reply
  11. Anonymous October 13, 2014 Reply
  12. Anonymous October 15, 2014 Reply
  13. Anonymous October 18, 2014 Reply
  14. Anonymous October 28, 2014 Reply
  15. Anonymous October 30, 2014 Reply
  16. Anonymous November 11, 2014 Reply
  17. Anonymous November 27, 2014 Reply
  18. Anonymous December 25, 2014 Reply
  19. Anonymous December 25, 2014 Reply
  20. Anonymous January 3, 2015 Reply
  21. Anonymous January 10, 2015 Reply
  22. Anonymous January 12, 2015 Reply
  23. Anonymous January 27, 2015 Reply
  24. Anonymous January 31, 2015 Reply
  25. Anonymous February 2, 2015 Reply
  26. Anonymous February 3, 2015 Reply
  27. Anonymous February 8, 2015 Reply
  28. Anonymous February 26, 2015 Reply
  29. Anonymous February 27, 2015 Reply
  30. Anonymous February 28, 2015 Reply
  31. Anonymous March 6, 2015 Reply
  32. Anonymous March 22, 2015 Reply
  33. Anonymous March 30, 2015 Reply
  34. Anonymous April 13, 2015 Reply
  35. Anonymous April 16, 2015 Reply
  36. Anonymous April 17, 2015 Reply
  37. Anonymous April 22, 2015 Reply
  38. Anonymous April 27, 2015 Reply
  39. Anonymous April 30, 2015 Reply
  40. Anonymous May 4, 2015 Reply
  41. Anonymous May 14, 2015 Reply
  42. Anonymous May 22, 2015 Reply
  43. Anonymous May 29, 2015 Reply
  44. Anonymous June 11, 2015 Reply
  45. Anonymous June 12, 2015 Reply
  46. Anonymous June 13, 2015 Reply
  47. Anonymous July 5, 2015 Reply
  48. Anonymous July 7, 2015 Reply
  49. Anonymous July 8, 2015 Reply
  50. Anonymous July 10, 2015 Reply
  51. Anonymous July 10, 2015 Reply
  52. Anonymous July 26, 2015 Reply
  53. Anonymous July 27, 2015 Reply
  54. Anonymous July 28, 2015 Reply
  55. Anonymous August 2, 2015 Reply
  56. Anonymous August 6, 2015 Reply
  57. Anonymous August 6, 2015 Reply
  58. Anonymous August 6, 2015 Reply
  59. Anonymous August 24, 2015 Reply
  60. Anonymous September 11, 2015 Reply
  61. Anonymous September 15, 2015 Reply
  62. Anonymous September 15, 2015 Reply
  63. Anonymous September 23, 2015 Reply
  64. Anonymous September 27, 2015 Reply
  65. Anonymous September 28, 2015 Reply
  66. Anonymous September 28, 2015 Reply
  67. Anonymous September 28, 2015 Reply
  68. Anonymous October 2, 2015 Reply
  69. Anonymous October 3, 2015 Reply
  70. Anonymous October 11, 2015 Reply
  71. Anonymous October 27, 2015 Reply
  72. Anonymous October 28, 2015 Reply
  73. Anonymous November 8, 2015 Reply
  74. Anonymous November 9, 2015 Reply
  75. Anonymous November 10, 2015 Reply
  76. Anonymous November 21, 2015 Reply
  77. Anonymous November 24, 2015 Reply
  78. Anonymous November 27, 2015 Reply
  79. Anonymous November 29, 2015 Reply
  80. Anonymous December 7, 2015 Reply
  81. Anonymous December 16, 2015 Reply
  82. Anonymous December 28, 2015 Reply
  83. Anonymous January 2, 2016 Reply
  84. Anonymous January 5, 2016 Reply
  85. Anonymous January 21, 2016 Reply
  86. Anonymous January 22, 2016 Reply
  87. Anonymous January 31, 2016 Reply
  88. Anonymous February 4, 2016 Reply
  89. Anonymous February 14, 2016 Reply
  90. Anonymous February 20, 2016 Reply

Leave a Reply